The result of an awkard conversation

Today has been quite a good day to be honest. I had a slightly awkward chat with a person about my recent breakup and she suggesting doing something proactive to try and help me. So today i tried playing the wii. I played just dance 2, which i have been meaning to play for a while, my biology friend is in love with the game and being as my sister recently got the game i thought id give it a go.

first i was slightly unenthusiastic and holding myself back a bit. But as the game went on i got into it a bit more and eventually even did the parts that you didn't really have to do to get points. But it just got so fun and excited that you just had to do everything. In the end me and my sister did about three songs and a medley of songs. After which i was so exhausted that i needed to do something more relaxing.

So when we finished playing just dance 2 we brought out the guitar hero (which i am awesome at.) we played Bohemian rhapsody and a few other songs. I got over 80% on every one. On the hard level. that's the level where you use all five of the 'notes' and all of your fingers. I love guitar hero.

heartbroken

this post has the potential to be quite depressing and i apologise about this and i welcome you not to read it if you don't want to be depressed.

So this week my boyfriend broke up with me.
Yes i feel like shit and probably look like it, cant stop crying, don't really want food, just want him back. But i know its never gonna happen so i have that to deal with too. I'm not gonna go into the gory details cause they will just upset me more and to be honest there weren't that many.

Basically its not what he wanted and everything and i respect that he told me now instead of stringing me along. Its just horrible because i miss him so much. Everything reminds me of him, people will say things or ill hear a song or see something and it just pulls my heart apart a tiny bit more. at the moment my heart is in one billion million tiny pieces and I'm not good with dealing with it.

i look a his picture on facebook and i just remembered how amazingly beautiful he is and then looked closer and he was wearing my scarf. Not  scarf that i bought him one that i gave him that was mine that he wanted and one that i used to wear. And it wasn't an old photo because i an sad and can tell by the size of his beard. That didn't help with the crying.

And he has a Friend. A girl friend. not as in someone he goes out with but a friend who is a girl. And before the break up we talked (and still do) and she was talking to me and just making me feel worse because he had spoken to her instead of me about our relationship. it kind of hurt cause i didn't want him to have to talk about us elsewhere i wanted us to be open together.

in short i want him to love me and i know he doesn't. Who knows he could change his mind in the future. I just pray for that day to come and that it will come. But if it doesn't then i will have to live with this broken heart of mine

Ranting

I think I am quite an open person to be honest, if you ask me something 99% of the time I am willing to tell you the truthful answer. So why people chose to believe things that I have denied are true I have no idea. I know that it shouldn't bother me as much as it does but it's just so irritation.

Whilst on the subject of irritating I have found another thing people do that irritate me- talk to me as a last choice, Ive recently noticed that I am never a persons first choice to speak to and as soon as someone better comes along its bye bye Lauren time. Eurgghh

I alpoligise about the ranting and wasteing your time but bad moods are always helped by venting your annoyance.

photo

I changed my photo to an actual picture of me this time. Shocking i know, not to risky is it? i was worried because i only like photos of myself when I'm smiling (even though i hate my smile) but photos on here and tumblr (where it is also my photo) are always so serious. I needed to find one that looked serious and that i liked, then whilst browsing my phone, i came across this one and i liked it and i wasn't smiling! even more shocking!

Also today i found out i have to give up one more free/ lunch time a week for maths. I think they have ruined our lives enough with the subjects already without adding more lessons on top? Or is that just my laziness talking?

Another thing that happened today- my boyfriend valentines day present arrived (i realise how late it is but it had to come from china!) Now the discussions begin on what to have engraved on it... this could take a while. but i think i will win.

Sounds like a lot happened today but it was just a usual day

stormtroopers in stilettos

today i attended a queen exhibition, and for people that don't know who queen are, they are an amazing rock band that were started in 1971 and consisted of 4 members- Freddie mercury, Brian may, John Decon and Roger Taylor. The exhibition was so amazing, it was about the re early years and how they formed. They were so different to anything had ever heard and there hasn't been anyone since them that is as great as they are. There was loads to see and as you walked around there were loads of writing and quotes on the walls from the band members, there team, the people that knew them and other modern artists. My favourite qoute was this one by Freddie Mercury-

The first bits my favourite, didnt really understand the second part to much, until my dad explained that the man was a famous ballet dancer. All the way around there were laptops with songs and unseen archive footage or the band and it was amazing to listen to some of the older stuff that i have never gotten to listen to before. I now have a real appreciation for how diffcuilt it was for them, it took them two years to get any type of recognition that they deserved.

I also found out that they were originally called smile, which i liked and this was there logo-