I hate how insecure I am. I am always so worried that people don't like me or are talking about me behind my back. I worry that my friends don't really like me and that I am as bad as the voices in my head tell me (and no that not me going crazy its just my mind). I'm scared that I always take the joke that little bit too far or that people are only talking about me because they feel sorry for me. I think the fact that I don't have a proper best friend has contributed to this, I mean I’ve had friends that ive considered my best friends but no one that really knows me and I know I can talk to no matter what the subject, someone that I could phone at 3 in the morning and they would be at my door at ten past. I mean I have my boyfriend and he is my best friend that I know will always be there for me but he is a male and maybe doesn't fully understand it sometimes, I know he tries and I want to explain that he is amazing but I need a girl best friend. My insecurities are constantly there, never on mute, everything I say or anything someone says to me they are there putting little hints of doubt in my mind about my abilities. I know this sounds rather dramatic but its how my brain is functioning unfortunately.
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