Bowling

Today i went Bowling, it was good. Hadnt been for a while and before i went i had accepted that i was utter rubbish at it and that i didnt like the game at all. we played two games and the first started badly but ended up getting better and in the end i came second (out of 5 but that doesnt matter.) So i was getting quietly confident that maybe my bowling skills had been waiting for the 17th year of my life to finally show up. my confidence wass rising and by the start of the second game i was smiling to myself and saying 'youve got this one in the bag.' But BAM my go comes and BAM i get 6. nothing else, just 6. I put it down to the break we had had in between the games, so i went up for my second turn and the score was just as bad (too painful for me to share.) so my confidence lay in tatters and i felt like the entire england rugby team had trampled over it.

This isnt really an accurate representation of what the pins looked like whe i threw the ball at them...

But i do think that even thought i was horrible defeated i have a renewed interest in the game, i enjoyed throwing the balls as hard as i could at the little pins. i think i will be going again.

Converse

i think im going to use my blog as a type of diary, im assuming thats was most people use it for? but dont worry its not like i'm going to spill out my deepest and darkest secrets, not that i have any really. Its just nice to have somewhere that you can discuss and explain what silly little thoughts are going around your head and i like that, i also like that i am typing, dont know why but i must find it 'theraputic.'

A little while ago, whilst searching for superman items i came across these beauties-

This was an amazing discover and i want a pair soo much. I have no idea how to get them so i highly doubt i every will get a pair, which makes me sad. This post has just completly backed up my obsessions one, so you can see im not a liar.

Eurgh, please someone buy me a pair?

Insecurity

I hate how insecure I am. I am always so worried that people don't like me or are talking about me behind my back. I worry that my friends don't really like me and that  I am as bad as the voices in my head tell me (and no that not me going crazy its just my mind). I'm scared that I always take the joke that little bit too far or that people are only talking about me because they feel sorry for me. I think the fact that I don't have a proper best friend has contributed to this, I mean I’ve had friends that ive considered my best friends but no one that really knows me and I know I can talk to no matter what the subject, someone that I could phone at 3 in the morning and they would be at my door at ten past. I mean I have my boyfriend and he is my best friend that I know will always be there for me but he is a male and maybe doesn't fully understand it sometimes, I know he tries and I want to explain that he is amazing but I need a girl best friend. My insecurities are constantly there, never on mute, everything I say or anything someone says to me they are there putting little hints of doubt in my mind about my abilities. I know this sounds rather dramatic but its how my brain is functioning unfortunately.

Obsessions

For as long as i can remember i have had obsessions, i know sounds crazy and to be honest I'm not really a stalker or get to much into it because my laziness over rides everything else. It probable started with Barney when i was very young, he was just so amazing and i mean who wouldn't love a massive purple dinosaur?? (your crazier than me if you don't) the songs were catchy and as i child i was enthralled. So after i moved on from barney which i'm still not completly sure i did, i left my obsessions for a bit and picked it up with the discover of very nice male celebritys, a major one being Micheal Weatherly, who played a character in a tv show that i love. I found various other that there are too many to name and a few that were not celebritys that I'm not going to explain about too much. But i moved on from male celebritys once i found my boyfriend, so i found myself obsessed with him, which is quite obvious. this obsession with him lead to an obsession with superman, i now posses a superman keyring, pink superman jumper, my boyfriends blue superman jumper, a blue superman top and other various superman related items.  But my brain was not satisfied by this so i found the wonder that is toy story 3, my family truely beleive that i am going backwards in my maturity and im questioning my aging myself. And of course long the way i went through several phases of games consoles and songs and websites which will probably not last much longer.